Well, I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon, and make more crosses between Ultima and other things... This gets extremely silly, especially towards the end. Enjoy!
-Bones Dragon

-------  Ultima, The Next Generation.  Vol.1  -------

[Ultima/StarTrek/Python - screenplay format]

by Bones Dragon

  [Scene opens, throne room. Lord British is seated on the throne, The Avatar seated to his right, Iolo to his left. Dupre and Shamino each seated at seperate positions in front of them manning banks of switches and levers that constitute the CON and OPS positions respectively. A large magical crystal ball is positioned in front of them all.]

Avatar:  I'm really impressed with this new Galaxy-Class enchanted castle, Lord British!

LB:      Yes, 'Tis the finest in the fleet.

Avatar:  Shall we see what she can do?

LB:      Indeed, number one. Make it so!

Avatar:  Take us up!

Dupre:   Aye sir!

  [Dupre pulls a few levers, and a deep rumbling is heard as the castle slowly lifts up out of the ground, and begins travelling east.]

Avatar:  Ahead full.

Dupre:   Aye, ahead full.

  [The castle moves east at a speed between the walking speeds of men and horses. It's looming shadow creeps over the fields of eastern Britain, and slowly makes way towards the town of Cove.]

Shamino: Sir, I'm picking up signs of trouble in Cove.

LB:      E.T.A.?

Dupre:   Three minutes.

LB:      Number one, prepare an away team. Someone inform embassador Draxinusom that he should remain in his quarters. Yellow alert!

Avatar:  Aye sir. Iolo, Shamino, Dupre, you're with me. Meet me in blink-room two.

 [The four of them scramble out of the throne room and head for the blink room. Several nameless extras hop into the CON and OPS seats. Scene resumes in blink-room.]

Avatar:  I want everyone equipped with a crystall ball and flame wand.

  [Sentri issues wands and balls to the Avatar and the three companions. After being armed with a wand and balls, the Avatar stops and thinks about what has just happened, then thinks of Nastassia and smiles.]

Sentri:  We'll be monitoring you, and we'll be able to blink you out at a moment's notice.

Avatar:  Energize!

  [Sentri activates the blink-console, and the away-team vanishes and reappears at the edge of town. The castle is visible overhead, blocking out most of the sky. The shadow gracefully overcomes them as the edge of the castle begins to block the sun.]

Avatar:  Ok, look alive. Wands on full.

  [All four of them step into the village, take some cover, and see the townsfolk running around madly as several gargoyles blast away at the houses with lightning wands.]

Iolo:    Why are gargoyles attacking a britannian town?

Avatar:  I don't know, but we have to stop them.

  [The avatar pokes his head out and shouts]

Avatar:  Cease firing, or we will be forced to return fire!!

  [The gargoyles begin firing at the Avatar's team]

Avatar:  I've had enough! Fire at will!

Dupre:   Which one is Will?

Avatar:  It doesn't matter you drunkard, just fire!

  [All four of them open fire, but are soon pinned. The Avatar pulls out his crystal ball and begins to speak]

Avatar:  Sentri, blink us up!

  [Just as they dematerialize, a blast goes right where they were. All four run back into the throne room and take their posts.]

LB:      What happened down there?

Avatar:  We were out-wanded. Gargoyles are taking over the town.

  [Draxinusom walks in]

Drax:    I assure you these are not my Gargoyles. Notice that their skin color is much more orange than mine. I have seen these gargoyles only once before. We were seeking reunification. You see, we have a common ancestry.

LB:      That doesn't explain how they got this far into Britannia without being discovered.

Drax:    It is said that they have cloaking spells. They used to experiment with turning carts and boats invisible.

Avatar:  Perhaps they have vastly improved their magic since then. They could have an invisible castle here without our knowing.

Drax:    There is a weakness. The spells can only last a short time.

  [Suddenly another large castle becomes visible, also hovering over the town]

Shamino: I think you'd better see this, sir...

LB:      On ball!

  [The crystal ball begins to glow and comes to life with the image of the other castle]

Dupre:   My Lord!

LB:      What?

Dupre:   I mean, whoa! That thing is huge!

Iolo:    We're being hailed.

LB:      On ball.

  [The image on the ball changes to the visage of the over castle's leader, a large ugly winged gargoyle named Tim]

LB:      Who are you?

Tim:     There are some who call me...  Tim?

LB:      What do you want?

Tim:     I have laid claim to this village. It is now part of the Empire of Tim! Leave now!

LB:      No!

Tim:     Oh please?

LB:      You have attacked a Britannian city. Withdraw or we will open fire. [looks at Iolo] Arm the forward cannons.

Iolo:    [speaking into a small crystall ball] Arm the cannons!

  [On the forward battlements of castle british, teams of men scurry about arming the cannons, and aim them at the other castle. The same thing happens on the other castle as well]

Shamino: They've locked cannons on us, sir.

Tim:     YOU will withdraw! You have violated the neutral zone!

LB:      What neutral zone?

Tim:     Oh yeh, we only made one with the trolls. No matter! Withdraw or be destroyed!

LB:      Never!

Tim:     Then let there be war! And it will be on your head, you silly king! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

LB:      Not!

Tim:     I fart in your general direction, now go away or I will taunt you a second time!

LB:      Fire!

Iolo:    [into ball] Fire!

  [British's cannons fire in one loud blast. One shot destroys the east tower of Tim's castle. Tim's cannons miss altogether.]

Tim:     Right! I'll do you for that! Have at you!

  [Another volley is fired, blowing off the west tower from Tim's castle]

Tim:     Tim's empire ALWAYS triumphs!

LB:      You've got no towers left!

Tim:     Yes I have!

LB:      Well what do you call that then? [points to debris]

Tim:     I'm invincible!

LB:      You're a looney.

  [Yet another volley is exchanged. The upper battlements on Tim's castle are destroyed. Debris continues to shower down upon Cove, doing far more damage than any team of armed gargoyles could have accomplished.]

LB:      Looks like we've won. Well done everyone.

Dupre:   They're going to ram us!

LB:      Fire!! This would be more challenging if I fought with my fork..

  [A fourth exchange of cannonballs fills the air. The lower battlements, walls, and ramparts of Tim's castle crumble. Tim's throne-room begins to sink towards the ground.]

Tim:    All right, we'll call it a draw.

LB:     [turns to face crew] Well done. Take us home.

Dupre:  Course set.

LB:     engage!

  [Castle British begins to gracefully drift back to the west, leaving behind it the ruins of Castle Tim, and of Cove.]

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